First, let me say that this is my view on the message and any scriptures used! I am so excited to be back in the Word that I cannot contain it! THIS IS NOT FOR DISCUSSION PURPOSES! Please feel free to comment as long as it is positive and not argumentative! That being said here we go!
So, the first week of the Forgotten Virtues series, was in gratitude. It was a great sermon and really it home. I prayed that God would show me the ways that I was ungrateful. I prayed He'd open my eyes to see all the ways He has blessed me and I was taking it for granted! Monday I noticed that I was a more aware of the ways I was good at showing gratitude! I have to admit, I really thought that I was doing ok! I am so grateful that I am in pretty good health, that we have a church home, that my marriage worked out, etc. See, even sounds kinda grateful! I kept repeating in my mind the sentence that stuck Sunday! Every blessing that you aren't turing into praise becomes pride. The Bible tells us that the Lord despises proud people! I truly thought I had it!
I woke up on Tuesday in a horrible mood! I was stressed to the max! I can remember my exact thoughts as I walked through my house. "This house is a mess, these kids don't pick up anything, if only it was bigger, I need some help around here and I am sure Lance is working late"! Yup what a great way to start my morning! Later that day after that any many more similar thoughts ran through my head, I heard God speak to me, more boldly and clearer than ever before ( no there was no booming voice)! Me and the boys were out running errands and we passed several homeless people and I seem to notice them more. Then on the way home I saw a lady that looked to be my age, with 3 kids and one on the way, sitting at a buss stop! They looked hot, tired and dirty. None of there clothes fit and the mom looked so beaten! The light turned green and we went along and that's when it hit me! God was saying to me " I gave you that house that is too small and always messy, I blessed you with those 3 amazing kids that never pick up! It is Me that gave you Lance as your husband, I provided him that job and the over time! I blessed you with the huge gift of being at home with your kids and I am the one building your future!" I get chills every time I talk about it and even as I sit here alone tonight! What an ungrateful brat I was being! God doesn't want me to have it all yet! He wants me to trust Him and turn to Him to bless me with the things I desire! The Bible says He wants to give us the things we desire!
Needless to say my world was rocked a little! I was so embarrassed of the way I had been acting.... my whole life! I have so much to be grateful! Now, I can totally see so many ways HE had HIS hand in my situation! I praise Him for the things He has done and I am so excited to see what He is going to do! Stayed tuned for week 2....... humility! I will try an post on it tomorrow!!! Some more great stuff!!!!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
Random pics
Babies at Christmas!
Short and Sweet!
Well, it is WAY past my bed time so tonight I thought I'd post some pics! Most have been taken since Kesley was born in July! Enjoy! I will play catch up when speing break is over! Wr have been on the go non-stop! But I have truly enjoyed having Caden home and spending time with friends and family! Caden is so excited, he got to see all his cousins on my side, that live in town! It was so cute he said " it'd be the best spring break ever if when I woke up I got to see the rest of my cousins!!!! I love that boy SO much! He is growing up WAY too stinkin' fast!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
A little history
Ok, first let me say that this post is probably one of the hardest post I'll ever have to write! The ONLY reason I am doing it is so that you can see where we have been and how far the Lord has brought us! We have a new church family and most of you guys have not gotten (had) to hear this! I pray that this does not change anybody opion of Lance or me.
With that being said lets jump right into it. In April of 2010, I entered a rehab center in Lubbock Tx. I had become addicted to pain medication given to me by the Dr. I was taking it for pain at first and before I knew it I was hooked! I knew this and went through detox in March only to relapse and almost killed myself! It was not a suicide attempt but that's how bad things got! SO, after rehab I came home to a very broken man. We had been having problems for a while but since I was so medicated we did not deal with them. Coming home and being clean and sober was a harsh reality for the both of us. There was so much hurt and distance between us. I decided in my twisted mind that leaving would be best. I moved to my mom's leaving not only Lance but also my babies. The same babies that I stayed home with ALL day every day, the same babies that I loved so much! I won't go into all the details but Lance and I both made big mistakes and did things we both regretted! We were separated for 3 months, both threatening to file for divorce, before I said my first prayer! Let me rewind and say this for the first month or so Lance did everything possible to get me to come home! I refused. Lance did an amazing job at taking care of the boys, I did see them but not daily like I should! Ok, so in September of 2010 I hit bottom! My mind was finally clear enough to see what I was doing and that I needed to be at least praying about it all! I prayed that God would make it clear what His will was and that I'd be willing to do it! That is all it took!
After 2 months of not wanting to work on my marriage because it might hurt and take some effort, that one prayer changed my life! The next day when I saw Lance I knew...... I knew with all my heart that he was meant to be my husband and that God could heal our broken relationship. I didn't say anything to anyone but kept praying the same prayer! A few weeks later I was still getting the weekends and Wednesday with the boys but I was going by after work and seeing them. That same week I started going over there and putting them to bed ( at their request). That is what opened up the door for Lance and I to hang out and talk! About a week later I broke down and begged Lance to go to counseling and see if there was any hope. I knew that if God was guiding me this way that would be all it took! God was right! We went to a couple counseling sessions and I started staying back at our house! I had not fully "moved" back in but we were trying! We both had a ton of stuff to deal with. Because of my horrible decision to leave we had both done things to hurt the other! By the 3rd week of October I was there all the time! I was still working and things were still really hard but I can look back now and see so many different ways God was moving in our lives! On November 15th we got the shock of our lives! I hadn't been feeling that great so I thought I take a pregnancy test. Yup it was positive! I cried, he was mad! How and why could this be happening! We already had so much to deal with and had only been living back as a family for about 3 weeks! What was God thinking???? That was the last thing we thought we needed! But, it wasn't like we had an option to put the baby on hold, so we had to get excited! It took me SEVERAL months to be really excited. I also felt as though everyone was talking. Here we were just barely putting the puzzle back together and bam another baby! People did talk but we made it through it! As weird as this may sound this last pregnancy was probably the most enjoyable AFTER the shock wore off!
Lance and I continued to work on us and in July we welcomed our baby girl Kesley Kate into the world! Lance was finally able to be in the room during the delivery ( due to complications he was not able to witness the births of the boys). We had our little girl and our 2 amazing boys! We also had each other! Yes, there were still some issues and some things we have had to work through but life was going better than I ever could have imagined! The boys have had there issues they have had to work through but everyone has forgiven each other and put it behind us! There was only one thing missing............. a church home! We would go with my mom and sister some and visited around but we couldn't find out place! Just with in the last 2 months have we done that! We are a part of Experience life Amarillo and for the first time in a long time we are doing just that! Experiencing life the way God intended for us to! No we are not perfect, yes we still have things we are dealing with! BUT God is perfect and so is His will for us!!!!!
WOW that was a lot and I am so tired emotionally and physically! So, I am going to go to bed! I hope that you all read this and understand us a little better! May God bless each and everyone of you! Hope you enjoy our journey......... it is NEVER dull with an 8yro old, 4 yr old and 8 month old!!!
P.S. I have 23 months and 5 days clean and sober!!!!
With that being said lets jump right into it. In April of 2010, I entered a rehab center in Lubbock Tx. I had become addicted to pain medication given to me by the Dr. I was taking it for pain at first and before I knew it I was hooked! I knew this and went through detox in March only to relapse and almost killed myself! It was not a suicide attempt but that's how bad things got! SO, after rehab I came home to a very broken man. We had been having problems for a while but since I was so medicated we did not deal with them. Coming home and being clean and sober was a harsh reality for the both of us. There was so much hurt and distance between us. I decided in my twisted mind that leaving would be best. I moved to my mom's leaving not only Lance but also my babies. The same babies that I stayed home with ALL day every day, the same babies that I loved so much! I won't go into all the details but Lance and I both made big mistakes and did things we both regretted! We were separated for 3 months, both threatening to file for divorce, before I said my first prayer! Let me rewind and say this for the first month or so Lance did everything possible to get me to come home! I refused. Lance did an amazing job at taking care of the boys, I did see them but not daily like I should! Ok, so in September of 2010 I hit bottom! My mind was finally clear enough to see what I was doing and that I needed to be at least praying about it all! I prayed that God would make it clear what His will was and that I'd be willing to do it! That is all it took!
After 2 months of not wanting to work on my marriage because it might hurt and take some effort, that one prayer changed my life! The next day when I saw Lance I knew...... I knew with all my heart that he was meant to be my husband and that God could heal our broken relationship. I didn't say anything to anyone but kept praying the same prayer! A few weeks later I was still getting the weekends and Wednesday with the boys but I was going by after work and seeing them. That same week I started going over there and putting them to bed ( at their request). That is what opened up the door for Lance and I to hang out and talk! About a week later I broke down and begged Lance to go to counseling and see if there was any hope. I knew that if God was guiding me this way that would be all it took! God was right! We went to a couple counseling sessions and I started staying back at our house! I had not fully "moved" back in but we were trying! We both had a ton of stuff to deal with. Because of my horrible decision to leave we had both done things to hurt the other! By the 3rd week of October I was there all the time! I was still working and things were still really hard but I can look back now and see so many different ways God was moving in our lives! On November 15th we got the shock of our lives! I hadn't been feeling that great so I thought I take a pregnancy test. Yup it was positive! I cried, he was mad! How and why could this be happening! We already had so much to deal with and had only been living back as a family for about 3 weeks! What was God thinking???? That was the last thing we thought we needed! But, it wasn't like we had an option to put the baby on hold, so we had to get excited! It took me SEVERAL months to be really excited. I also felt as though everyone was talking. Here we were just barely putting the puzzle back together and bam another baby! People did talk but we made it through it! As weird as this may sound this last pregnancy was probably the most enjoyable AFTER the shock wore off!
Lance and I continued to work on us and in July we welcomed our baby girl Kesley Kate into the world! Lance was finally able to be in the room during the delivery ( due to complications he was not able to witness the births of the boys). We had our little girl and our 2 amazing boys! We also had each other! Yes, there were still some issues and some things we have had to work through but life was going better than I ever could have imagined! The boys have had there issues they have had to work through but everyone has forgiven each other and put it behind us! There was only one thing missing............. a church home! We would go with my mom and sister some and visited around but we couldn't find out place! Just with in the last 2 months have we done that! We are a part of Experience life Amarillo and for the first time in a long time we are doing just that! Experiencing life the way God intended for us to! No we are not perfect, yes we still have things we are dealing with! BUT God is perfect and so is His will for us!!!!!
WOW that was a lot and I am so tired emotionally and physically! So, I am going to go to bed! I hope that you all read this and understand us a little better! May God bless each and everyone of you! Hope you enjoy our journey......... it is NEVER dull with an 8yro old, 4 yr old and 8 month old!!!
P.S. I have 23 months and 5 days clean and sober!!!!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Another shot....
Well, here we go! I am going to try this blog thing again! I really enjoyed it last time and have so much I want to share with all our friends and family! I am going to try and fill you all in on the last 2 years of our lives. It has been a wild and rocky time but we have truly grown and have become such a stronger family unit! God has showed Himself to us so much in the last 2 months that I cannot contain it anymore!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)